Latest Photo Booth Shots.        
                        Ladies and  gents, this is my passport photo so I can't smile.

                                   Not that I would if I could have.

So, I been asked to write a regular slot for 'Bite Me News'. Wish somebody would fill my slot in. There's cobwebs over the cobwebs and the deadly widow's moved in, and  I 'aint seen my 'gunt for the past 10 years, though that could be to do with my steadily declining eye sight. I have not had 20-20 since I was fresh and  yanked screaming blue murder from my momma's womb, though I did  manage  a bit of slap and tickle that day.

I made an effort for my pictures. Sure, I dont go for the lip wax, I sport a dark 'tache, I'm not lucky enough to have either light hair or no hair. And I don't go for  all that Brazilian waxing. Its just not me. I;d rather have a nice, warm rug, kind of like a nice tea cosy, just blowin' in the wind.

I purchased a beautiful headband from Primark, the best that two quid could buy.

Ninja owl of doom


'He knows when you are sleeping

He knows when you at ease, at pleasure or face down in a pool of your own vomit

He knows what you're going to say before you even thought it.

He knows every dang dirty thought you ever had, every time you mentally undressed that bird on the front of Bored House Wives magazine, the one with the large baps and the gunt to match.

He knows, and Brown Owl, Big Bird Ninja of Doom judges you.

You dirty, dirty boy.

The owl is omnipotent, impotent and all knowing

Fear that little bi/ch owl. Because he's coming for you, and he's gonna jimmy your car and pop a cap in your ass

P.s, he left a big ass gift in your bird box. Relish it. It's gonna leave a mark.'